NOTE: Much more ranting can be found at the TGlob Archive and 50 Words or Less


MTV REWIND was a column on mtv.com's movies page, which took a current release as the springboard to
discuss similarly themed chunks of pop culture from the past.
• FACTORY GIRL: Who's The Best Of Hollywood's Many Andy Warhols?
• THE HITCHER: Top Ten Movie Remakes
• HANNIBAL RISING: Dinner And A Movie — Hannibal Lecter's Favorite Films
• GHOST RIDER: Will Ghost Rider Be A Fanboy Fave Or A Marvel Misstep?
• BLACK SNAKE MOAN: When Actors Sing!
• I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE: Most Alluring Women Of Film, From Marilyn To Scarlett
• TMNT: Are CGI Effects Really Better Than Old-Fashioned Movie Magic?
• GRINDHOUSE: Ten Movies that Straddle the Line Between the Grindhouse and the Mainstream
• AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE: Will Big-Screen 'Aqua Teen' Be Next 'South Park' — Or 'Scooby-Doo'?
• KICKIN' IT OLD SKOOL: 10 Quintessential '80s Double Features
• LUCKY YOU: Vegas, Baby!
• How Many MATRIX DVDs Do You Need? A Look At Special Editions
• EVAN ALMIGHTY: Top 10 Movie Portrayals of God
• TRANSFORMERS: When Toys Beget Movies
• The Most Controversial Franchise Endings
• SKINWALKERS: The Ten Sexiest Monster Movies of All Time
• 10 Favorite High School Archetypes from the Movies
• ACROSS THE UNIVERSE Evokes The Worst Beatles-Related Movie Ever - SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
• FRED CLAUS: Counting Down Our Favorite Movie Santas (the final REWIND)

BLA BLA BLINKY BLOO
• A STICKY TANGLE: SPIDER-MAN 3 and Beyond
• I’VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS… (30 reasons why STAR WARS stinks). (from GEEK MONTHLY Magazine)


MTV REWIND
• New Year's Resolutions for the Multiplexes
• UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION 10 Favorite Movie Vampires
• A Look at the Films of Albert Brooks
• DATE MOVIE Mocks the Eminently Mockable Genre of the Romantic Comedy
• 16 BLOCKS: Hollywood Geography
• Will V FOR VENDETTA Break the Cinematic Alan Moore Curse?
• THANK YOU FOR SMOKING: In Films Today, a Cigarette is Always a Metaphor
• BASIC INSTINCT 2: Why Bad Girls Make for Good Movies
• SCARY MOVIE 4: When Horror and Comedy Collide
• THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE: A Natural Woman in Six Inch Heels
• AMERICAN DREAMZ: Hail to the Cinematic Chiefs
• ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL: Comic Book Movies Aren't Just for Kids Anymore
• AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH: Hollywood's Been Armageddon It Wrong for Years
• CARS: What If Other Famous Film Cars Could Talk?
• CLICK: Ten Favorite Movie Gizmos
• LITTLE MAN: Sometimes High Concept is Just Plain Awful
• MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND: Superheroes are Super Sucky at Love
• WORLD TRADE CENTER: Does Dramatizing Real-Life Tragedy Help Or Hinder The Healing Process?
• SNAKES ON A PLANE: Ten of our favorite Motha-#%@&in’ Snake Moments from Motha-&%$#in’ Movies!!!
• BEERFEST: The Eternal Role of Beer in the Movies
• THE LAST KISS: The Ten Most Angst-Ridden Dudes in Movie History
• EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH: Movie Check in Aisle Ten (the retail experience as seen on film)
• MARIE ANTOINETTE: Is it okay if an 18th Century French Queen rocks to the Cure?
• FAST FOOD NATION: Ten Movie Meals That Make Fast Food Seem More Palatable.
• ROCKY BALBOA: Shouldn't Rocky Be Playing Shuffleboard In Florida By Now?
• BLACK CHRISTMAS: The Top Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All Time

BLA BLA BLINKY BLOO
• Lettering Matters: An attempt to read 1602 and INFINITE CRISIS
• Krytonitpicking: Quibbles with SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE
• A Tribute to Alex Toth
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY part one: VESTED INTEREST
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY part two: PREP WORK
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY part three: The WHERE, the WHEN, the WITH WHOM
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY part four: MOC or NOT-MOC
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY part five: MORE POWERFUL THAN A CRAPPY ADAPTATION
• TRUTH, JUSTICE and the FANATICAL WAY postscript: FANBOY FOLLOW-UP (SUPERMAN RETURNS review)


MTV REWIND
• WHITE NOISE: The Dead Sure Can Be Pests
• ELEKTRA Begs the Question: Who Asked for This Spin-Off?
• MILLION DOLLAR BABY and the Strange Allure of the Boxing Film
• What is an Independent Film These Days... and More Importantly, Who Cares?
• Who's your BOOGEYMAN?
• Are There Any Romantic Comedies for Guys?
• CONSTANTINE and the Perils of Comic Book Casting
• The Dying Art of the Main Title Sequence
• BE COOL: the Ten Coolest Cats to Grace the Big Screen
• Robin Williams and Other Annoying Movie ROBOTS
• THE RING 2: Just How Scary Are Creepy Kids, Really?
• Can SIN CITY Overcome Black and White Movie Bias?
• FEVER PITCH is Billed as a Romantic Comedy, But to Me, It's a Mystery
• THE AMITYVILE HORROR: What Part of "Based On" Don't You Understand?
• THE INTERPRETER: Is adopting an accent the most difficult acting challenge of all?
• REVENGE OF THE SITH: A Heretic Speaks: STAR WARS Kinda Sucks
• DARK WATER: An Open Love Letter to Jennifer Connelly
• THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS: The Most Powerful Pants in Hollywood
• THE HONEYMOONERS Pushes the Hot Button of Racial Recasting
• BATMAN BEGINS: Finally, the Dark Knight Really Returns
• The Video History of the Sometimes Not So FANTASTIC FOUR
• CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Who's Your Willy?
• THE CAVE Has Us Asking: What's in a Name?
• TIM BURTON'S CORPSE BRIDE: Our Favorite Stop-Motion Features
• Truman Capote's Screen Legacy
• WALLACE & GROMIT: CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT: 10 Terrifying Screen Bunnies
• PLEDGE THIS: When Non-Actors Act!
• WALK THE LINE: The Uneven Acting Legacy of Johnny Cash
• JUST FRIENDS: Does the Fat Suit Really Fit Anyone?
• KING KONG: A look at the unfairly dismissed 1976 Kong

OTHER MTV WRITINGS
• MUSIC GEEK: The Fine Art of Filing
• MUSIC GEEK: When Comics and Rock Collide aka The Fanboy's Jukebox
• 007 Ways to Freshen the James Bond Franchise
• Making a Superhero Movie Right - A Guide for Hollywood

BLA BLA BLINKY BLOO
• THE BATMAN CHRONICLES Vol. 1 and THE PIN-UP ART OF DAN DeCARLO review
• Owning, Revisited

PORT HALCYON is a site dedicated to all things retro.
• A Trio of SAMMY DAVIS, JR. Reissues


MTV REWIND
• SPIDER-MAN 2's Personal Conflict? Superman Went Through It Onscreen First
• The Character of CATWOMAN Has Had More Than Nine Lives
• New MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE Elects to Go After Big Business
• Will ALIEN VS. PREDATOR Lead to DUFF VS. LOHAN?
• EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING Star is One Hell of a Hollywood Veteran
• OPEN WATER: How Buzz and Hype Can Make or Break a Film
• CELLULAR: Will Technology Kill Old-Fashioned Suspense?
• SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW Built on Yesterday's Pulp Fiction
• SHAUN OF THE DEAD: They Won't Stay Dead! A Look at Zombies in Cinema History
• RAISE YOUR VOICE: The Road to Fame is Paved With Bad Movies
• TEAM AMERICA: The Most Memorable Puppet Performances in Film and Television
• THE MACHINIST: Body Modification in Hollywood is Not Always Surgical.
• RAY: Playing a Musician is One Thing, Playing an Instrument is Another
• THE INCREDIBLES: Brad Bird Honed His Retro Vision with THE IRON GIANT
• THE POLAR EXPRESS risks messing with another beloved children's book
• OCEAN'S TWELVE: Clooney, et al, you're no Rat Pack
• BLADE: TRINITY: What's Up With All the Long Black Trenchcoats?
• THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU: a look at the ouvre of Wes Anderson
• FAT ALBERT: Remembering the Long Gone Golden Age of Saturday Morning Tee Vee

OTHER MTV WRITINGS
• MUSIC GEEK: The Most Hideous Holiday LPs of All Time
• The Legacy of Christopher Reeve
• Is Bill Murray Hollywood's Most Versatile Actor?

PORT HALCYON reviews:
• CHRISTMAS WITH JOHNNY CASH CD review
• JOHNNY MATHIS Christmas CDs review

BLA BLA BLINKY BLOO
• The Clash LONDON CALLING 25th Anniversary Refit review
• BLACK LIGHT

THE WEEKLY THING was a not-Blog from the last version of this website. A selective archive follows:
• THE MOTION PICTURE LOG
• WE CALLED IT AN "ALTERNATIVE" RECORD STORE
• WHEN IS AN ARCHIVE NOT ARCHIVAL? a look at the state of DC Comics' reprint editions
• HEEP sometimes the most precious heirlooms aren't valuable at all
• MONKEYS, IRON-ONS and COMIC BOOKS
• A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL EDITION DVD
• THE SHORT STORY OF FAST WILLIE JACKSON
• JERSEY PRIDE: on being a stone's throw from the Bada Bing!
• THOUGHTS FROM BEHIND THE BAR
• PIGS OVER BURBANK Warner Home Video finally gets it
• WAY MORE THAN AIRLINE PRETZELS: a review of CARNET de VOYAGE


THE RANT was the review section on TOUGH GUY V.2.
• IT MAY LOOK LIKE A CHESTNUT Dick Van Dyke Show dvd review
• REQUIEM FOR A JOHNNY (AS OPPOSED TO A JOHN) Cash or Ritter: Who had the bigger impact?
• AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRIS WARE book review
• BLANKETS by CRAIG THOMPSON graphic novel review
• SONGS OF THE POGO CD review


CABLEBOY is a column about the tee-vee I've written sporadically since 1994 for various outlets.
• IT'S RUN BY A BIG EASTERN SYNDICATE, YOU KNOW an appreciation of A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
• CONSUMER VS. PRODUCER an introspection concerning pop culture obsession
• IS THAT A COMMERCIAL ON YOUR TEE-VEE OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? a look at sex in advertising
• FIELDS OF CORN a look at SPIDER-MAN the movie and SMALLVILLE
• OWNING the blessing and the curse of the dvd format
• I LOVE LORELAI a slightly scary appreciation of the lead character in GILMORE GIRLS

THE PYLORIC VALVE was a column about bartending I wrote for THE NEW YORK HANGOVER
• YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRINK an anti-Coors rant
• RED, WHITE and BEER how far can small town jingoism go?


• THE PYLORIC VALVE: AND MAKE IT A STIFF ONE. 9/11 from behind the bar (2001)
• CABLEBOY: THE BEST SEASON what do Spider-Man, Linus and Frank Sinatra all have in common? (1995)
• YULETIDE WITH SINATRA an old review of Frank Sinatra Christmas albums from 13 MAGAZINE (1994)